Today marks the third month since we received the news that mom is unwell and I realized that I’ve been so busy soaking veggies and fruits every night and juicing nine glasses of three different fruits-veggie combination every weekend (since dad does it on weekdays) and other more routine stuff that I forget to open my personal journal and scribble on it just as I forget to have a lovelife. :3 Sigh.
But thank God for creating Sundays to remind me that I seriously need Sabbath and so I could write again, well if I wish to, the things I’ve been learning in this bittersweet season.
So yeah! let the musing begin..
Unanswered prayer doesn’t mean it’s over. I don’t know, but if I were to look back my past 2 decades of existence, the prayer journey I had would reflect a very positive sight. I couldn’t remember any single prayer I’ve written and uttered that was left unanswered – from the prayer journals to diaries to subtle whispers I had – everything seemed to be so easy to get as if the One who answers prayer is so much excited and delighted in giving me the answers. Easy or hard it may be, everything was just so easy for Him.
But somewhere down the road I get to realize, too, that there are prayers left unanswered not because our battle is OVER but because He needs us to OVERcome our battles more.
When mom decided to get biopsied sometime in December, the ultimate thing I thought I could offer her aside from my presence was prayer, and so I sent prayer brigade to churchmates, workmates, relatives, old and new friends (I praise God for their lives). Heightened prayer became our sword. I remember the night before her biopsy, I asked her to join me in soaking for the very first time. How could I not burst into tears when amidst weakness and pain, I felt like God was hugging me so tight while telling me that He is being glorified in this chapter of our life.
After a weeklong of waiting, we received the result.. and yes, THE BATTLE IS NOT YET OVER.
Braver Heart > Giving Up. So how should I respond to God when the prayers I’ve uttered, the deep yearnings of my heart and the expectations I’ve longed for were left unanswered? I promised myself to never complain especially when we get the result of her biopsy. But believe me, it was terribly hard. Bone-deep. I don’t believed on overly exaggerated statements like “feels-like-it’s-the-end-of-the-world” until I get there.. the first month was real challenging that I had to reconsider some things, but the thought of giving up never came to my mind.
I remember Job when God put him to test; his riches, the people he loves and all other important treasures he has were taken away from him, he became sick, yet, he chose to remain even if things were hard to comprehend. In the end, God blessed him and gave more than he had before.
A brave man’s heart may still choose to give up during tough season, but for a braver one like Job, giving up isn’t a choice because he is convinced that he’s greater. Sometimes things overwhelm us and it looks as if it’s not possible but a short three-word phrase is all we need – NO. GIVING. UP.
Back to our story, three months have passed since then, and mom said that I am braver now.
Trust. Trust more. Trust again. If there’s a significant word God has been impressing me and my family this season, it’s TRUST. Trusting each other that we could make this through. Trusting the power of family. Trusting that mom would be completely healed in God’s time and that her battle will be her testimony to people who are fighting the same. Trusting the goodness of people around us. Trusting the One true Source of life for miracles and wonders far beyond our eyes can see. Trusting that all this challenges would come to pass and that He alone will be glorified.
Life, in spite of its many curves and ups and downs, is still beautiful knowing that we can trust, trust more and trust again every day of our life. And because there is no faith worth having that has not been tested by fire, we allow God to complete His plans in and through us.
Now, trust me when I say that life must go on..
Happy Sunday! 🙂