Musing Again

Today marks the third month since we received the news that mom is unwell and I realized that I’ve been so busy soaking veggies and fruits every night and juicing nine glasses of three different fruits-veggie combination every weekend (since dad does it on weekdays) and other more routine stuff that I forget to open my personal journal and scribble on it just as I forget to have a lovelife. :3 Sigh.

But thank God for creating Sundays to remind me that I seriously need Sabbath and so I could write again, well if I wish to, the things I’ve been learning in this bittersweet season.

IMG_0602

journal. pen. carrot juice.

So yeah! let the musing begin..

Unanswered prayer doesn’t mean it’s over. I don’t know, but if I were to look back my past 2 decades of existence, the prayer journey I had would reflect a very positive sight. I couldn’t remember any single prayer I’ve written and uttered that was left unanswered – from the prayer journals to diaries to subtle whispers I had – everything seemed to be so easy to get as if the One who answers prayer is so much excited and delighted in giving me the answers. Easy or hard it may be, everything was just so easy for Him.

But somewhere down the road I get to realize, too, that there are prayers left unanswered not because our battle is OVER but because He needs us to OVERcome our battles more.

When mom decided to get biopsied sometime in December, the ultimate thing I thought I could offer her aside from my presence was prayer, and so I sent prayer brigade to churchmates, workmates, relatives, old and new friends (I praise God for their lives). Heightened prayer became our sword. I remember the night before her biopsy, I asked her to join me in soaking for the very first time. How could I not burst into tears when amidst weakness and pain, I felt like God was hugging me so tight while telling me that He is being glorified in this chapter of our life.

After a weeklong of waiting, we received the result.. and yes, THE BATTLE IS NOT YET OVER.

Braver Heart > Giving Up. So how should I respond to God when the prayers I’ve uttered, the deep yearnings of my heart and the expectations I’ve longed for were left unanswered? I promised myself to never complain especially when we get the result of her biopsy. But believe me, it was terribly hard. Bone-deep. I don’t believed on overly exaggerated statements like “feels-like-it’s-the-end-of-the-world” until I get there.. the first month was real challenging that I had to reconsider some things, but the thought of giving up never came to my mind.

I remember Job when God put him to test; his riches, the people he loves and all other important treasures he has were taken away from him, he became sick, yet, he chose to remain even if things were hard to comprehend. In the end, God blessed him and gave more than he had before.

A brave man’s heart may still choose to give up during tough season, but for a braver one like Job, giving up isn’t a choice because he is convinced that he’s greater. Sometimes things overwhelm us and it looks as if it’s not possible but a short three-word phrase is all we need – NO. GIVING. UP.

Back to our story, three months have passed since then, and mom said that I am braver now.

Trust. Trust more. Trust again. If there’s a significant word God has been impressing me and my family this season, it’s TRUST. Trusting each other that we could make this through. Trusting the power of family. Trusting that mom would be completely healed in God’s time and that her battle will be her testimony to people who are fighting the same. Trusting the goodness of people around us. Trusting the One true Source of life for miracles and wonders far beyond our eyes can see. Trusting that all this challenges would come to pass and that He alone will be glorified.

Life, in spite of its many curves and ups and downs, is still beautiful knowing that we can trust, trust more and trust again every day of our life. And because there is no faith worth having that has not been tested by fire, we allow God to complete His plans in and through us.

Now, trust me when I say that life must go on..

Happy Sunday! 🙂

Musing

Two things I love about self-date; first, I make my tummy happy (I’m serious about that), and second, I get to converse intimately with my inner self. Well, I typically ponder on things in a regular day, and most of the time they just come in random.. but it feels more fulfilling when I do this intentionally, especially when I feast with a coconut, alone and happy. 😀

IMG_9508.JPG

coconut galore after work.

So yeah, here are chunks of the things I’m realizing and relearning this season..

Never allow people or things steal your passion and joy. A person close to me never ceased to say lines like this, “you’re doing so much for the ministry, why don’t you focus on yourself this time?, you’ve given a lot to people..” I can’t blame this person, he’s just overly concerned with me, I presume.. but those words have literally resonated to my ears that I started to question.. What if he’s right? What if my zealousness has been causing me to forget about myself? Besides, my health wasn’t good during those times. Having no plan of taking his advice, I just simply had my rest, and rest means no ministry for a while. We all need rest, right? But I was so unaware that the short rest had eventually become a long rest that I almost forget I’m missing a lot already.. I miss life!

What sense does it make to wake up each day having no purpose? No passion. No joy. I realized I would rather choose to be tired and empty at the end of the day knowing I’ve done something worthwhile to and for others than being well-rested and self-focused (oooppps! selflessness over selfiesness.) Because it’s never a complete joy until it’s shared joy.

What keeps you passionate and joyful? Take hold and never let it go.

Forgive more often. I remember those times young people would seek advice from me about forgiveness. I love listening and probing you know, so I would ask questions as many as I can to have a sufficient, if not complete grasp of the story. I remember it clearly how every conversation would constantly end with this easy-to-say line, “You have no choice but to forgive him/her/them”. Little did I know that releasing forgiveness is tough not until I’ve encountered it firsthand. I realized that I have a very little understanding about this cliché yet huge word. But the good news is, forgiveness becomes easier to give as we release it more often. It becomes a lifestyle. And the more we forgive others and even ourselves, we permit our hearts to experience that greater freedom – freedom from every kind of bitterness, guilt, offence and freedom to enjoy life as God has designed it to be.

If an all powerful God has chosen to forgive and love me unconditionally even if I do not deserve it, what should hinder me then from releasing the same? At the end of the day, it’s worth thinking of that we are equal sinners who are desperately in need of forgiveness… in need of grace.. Let’s do the move – forgive MORE often.

Remain in your First Love. It is really true that responsibilities pile up as we age – more numbers being crossed-out on our personal calendars because of meetings, gatherings and the list goes on be it in the family, workplace, church and other circles.. and most of the time, reality is, we get so acquainted with so much things that we forget and fail our first Love. Times it’s easier for us to choose the less important, the second, the temporal rather than the significant and the First and the eternal..

I wonder why we need to complicate things when the word is just simply to REMAIN in Him. Could it be possible that our most long awaited breakthrough is just a choice away? That if only we choose to remain, wonders will come swiftly and grandly.

What good things shall we gain in choosing our first Love above all else? I’m sure, the answer is unlimited. So remain. Nothing beats first Love!

Cheers!!! 😉

 

 

WAITING

If there is a word that is so much real to me for the past five years, it is waiting.

After my work resignation, I have waited 14 months before my post-grad application in a university got accepted.

Many times, I have missed trains in KL which automatically oblige me to wait for another 30 minute-time or so,

Just as I have missed the university bus which oblige me to wait for another hour or more.

I have waited 36 months before I received my Masters diploma.

Now, I’m still waiting for things –

the best work God has in store for me

an inspiration to come alive

dreams to unfold

breakthroughs

And a lot more…

Yes. Waiting. A very powerful word which can either make or break us, or both. Here are three things waiting has been teaching me then and now.

Waiting builds us. Waiting exposes us to different feelings – good, bad and in-betweens. There were days when feelings of serenity, motivation, passion, joy and productivity intrude. Yet, there were also days when feelings of shame, brokenness, rejection, self-pity, resentment and some more negative emotions hurl within. And truth is, inward struggles overpower our positivity most of the time. Waiting, I believe, is an inevitable process necessary for stretching our hearts and character. It teaches us how to deal with our own selves, emotions, and fears, and it even invites us to go the extra mile as it gives us the challenge to offer something to people regardless of how we feel.. But one thing I’ve realized: Sweetest things are produced in season of brokenness. I couldn’t agree more, waiting produces the best things in us and out of us. It builds us!

Waiting is trusting. And trusting is costly. It means abandoning our sense of control over our life and positioning ourselves into vulnerability. I often use the word trust ever since I became a Christian, but it has never became so real to me until I experienced seasons of waiting in my life. It’s possible to trust half-heartedly even if you say you trust fully, and I’ve been there. Times when we don’t allow God to take full control over our lives because of unbelief and impatience.  Waiting season exposes us into our reality vis-à-vis God – that we are just small and weak beings in a big and strong God, and that trusting Him fully is the best move to do not only during this season but in all season of our lives. Remember, He is an all-knowing God. So, trust.

Waiting brings us to the promise.  The good news is, waiting has its own unique beauty. Louie Giglio said, “God works while we wait”, and He is! I am reminded about God’s promise to Abraham and Sarah of having a child despite their old age. No kidding, Abraham was 100 years old when Isaac was born! This gives us a pause to think of our waiting seasons, too. Promise(s) comes after waiting, after the struggles and pains, after the agony and tears.. We are never stuck! And as long as the covenant-keeping God is with us, our waiting season is never wasted. It’s all worth it.

FullSizeRender

Bukit Jalil Train Station, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Happy waiting, everyone! 🙂

Letter To My Future Man

Hello Love,

This may sound crazy, to think about you though we haven’t even met.. thinking where you are, what you are doing and who you are with. However, I’ve been this thrilled for almost 10 years now since the day I made my choice to write letters to you on my journal. So today is just one of the dandy days again with you in my thoughts. And with so much things I want to say, here are three things for you..

I’m working to be the best version of myself, I pray you’re working on yourself too. Even if I may not know the virtues of a woman you’re looking for, I am pushing myself to be the one you’ve been praying for. I did realize that it’s so easy for me to make a list of the qualities my future man should possess, yet I forget to countercheck on qualities I should personally be cultivating for my future man. So while God is preparing us separately, I own the responsibility to be mature enough to make major decisions with all wisdom, to be emotionally/physically/spiritually healthy in consistency, to be keen on understanding myself – those strengths and weaknesses, and even the values I uphold. And more.. I am committed to change the things I need to change and develop the things I still need to develop before we ever meet. Let me be the full-grown woman prepared for you, and I hope the same goes with you.

We can love more if we are more in love with God. As much as I’m excited to present you the best version of myself, there’s little fear inside of me. I can offer you my best love but that alone won’t fill the voids in your heart. There are things we aren’t capable of doing, we are human beings. Limited. But I desire that this relationship won’t be limited by our personal insufficiencies, nonetheless drive us to deeply yearn for more of God. It is my constant prayer that we will intentionally pursue Him – the fullness of His love and presence while we are apart. It’s only when we are so saturated by His love that we become enough and best to each other.

Let this waiting be worth it. All these years, I’ve been relentlessly guarding my heart for you. I don’t settle for good enough because I know there is someone great for me; someone like you who have been constantly praying for me, guarding his heart for me in all purity, choosing God’s standard rather than man’s – because you know that this relationship isn’t just for us, but for His glory. As we wait for the Author of this love story to say “go“, may we not grow tired and impatient. There are different people we will meet along the way, but I pray that you will keep your eyes open for me as I keep mine for you.. This is worth repeating: we both deserve the best.

Today, no matter where you are, know that you’re always in my heart and that I love you more than you ever know.. and as I re-open these journals, the letters I’ve been writing for you all these years, feel my love.

IMG_5081

I’ll see you whenever. 🙂

Love,

Ann

fourteenth

(Written February 14, 2014)

Red and pink roses. Chocolate of different kinds. Valentine Cards. Couple bears. Small-to-medium-to-large-heart-shaped-lollipops. Hearts all around. Then you would know it’s February! Familiar? Things I would usually associate to 14th day of the month four years back. Those times I would head to my class and vendors at UP gate would stop me for a moment just to say, “miss, bili na ng regalo para kay bf” coupled with a silly grin. Oh well…

Different when I did start working, I would know Feb 14 is coming when my colleagues would ask me a vogue-ish question – “Do you have a date?” or days when I open my FB and my news feed is flooded with singlehood rants. Things do change.

But today, I’ve never seen a rose, not even a single cut-out of a red paper heart. Nobody bothered askin’ me that vogue-ish question I used to hear before, but I can feel the daintiness of this day.  It’s just special. Do you feel the same, too? And I guess it’s for this reason that I feel like leaking out some love today. So allow me then to share with you a few inspirational songs.

Here we go..

1) WORTH THE WAIT (http://youtu.be/ew0YWiernig

Season of waiting seems to be like a roller coaster ride for some. Times we feel insecure, alone, unloved which, at a point, would give us a thought of “single blessedness” (LOL). Then we overly react. We’ve got lots of questions to God like scribbled in a manila paper, back-to-back. We pretend to be fine with people but deep inside us sits a painful feeling that only us and God understand. We’ve been waiting for years and years but God has seemed to forget our heart’s desire. If this is you, never say die! 33 Miles dedicates this song to you..

It’s worth the wait / Just keep believing / God has perfect timing / Never early, never late / It takes a little patience / And it takes a lot of faith / But it’s worth the wait

2) WHILE I’M WAITING (http://youtu.be/i6X71sXagUY)

I would agree that waiting is relentless. But looking at it the way God has designed it, waiting holds its own beauty. It allows us to be drawn more and more to the One whose love we deserve best.. Wouldn’t it be sweeter if the day God’s Best comes, we are totally prepared coz we have known what true love really means? Perfect love story that is! If you are still waiting, may this song of John Waller inspire you to pursue Him more!

While I’m waiting / I will serve You / While I’m waiting / I will worship / While I’m waiting / I will not faint / I’ll be running the race / Even while I wait

3) STEADY MY HEART (http://youtu.be/RRpTh1sgIzI)

What about question like “Why some other things have to be hard?”. Does it ring a bell? Times when moving on is like the hardest thing to make. It’s as if the whole universe has forgotten that you, too, has feelings. Cheer up! Kari Jobe has crafted a song especially for you. Psalm 55:22 says, “Cast your burden in the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be moved.” So whatever season you’re walking through, know that He’s near. He sustains you. He gives you strength. And that He’ll steady your heart..

I’m not gonna worry / I know that You got me / Right inside the palm of your hand / Each and every moment / What’s good and what gets broken / Happens just the way that You plan / You steady my heart

4) THE MARRIAGE PRAYER (http://youtu.be/t4_sfgjRcfI) 

You might find the title a little bit odd, excuses. I always believe that love is made to be celebrated especially when God takes the center of the story. So to the married ones as well as to those who are nearly getting there, allow this song of John Waller to inspire your relationship once more by loving your better half the way God loves him/her. And yes, loving him or her is just next to loving God! Cheers to more years of love!

Father, I said till death do us part / I want to mean it with all of my heart / Help me to love You / More than I love her (him) / Then I know I can love her (him) more / Than anyone else

5) IMAGINE ME WITHOUT YOU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBptr4BIuTM&list=PL795A1C1DD6FB444F&feature=share)

To those hearts that are passionately in pursuit of the greatest Lover of their life – Jesus, keep going! Nothing or no one could ever surpass the immensity and trueness of His love, so dwell in it. It’s my personal prayer that this song would just bring you back to the place where you first met Him. 🙂 He loves you dearly!

When I found you I was blessed / And I will never leave you, I need you / Imagine me without you / Lord, you know it’s just impossible / Because of you, it’s all brand new / My life is now worthwhile / I can’t imagine me without you

So there. I guess it’s getting long now! haha. Hope you enjoyed reading and listening to the songs. Happy Valentine’s day!

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 “If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.”  (http://youtu.be/pr9YVD05x8M)

P.S. keep falling in Love everyday. 🙂

Vintage-Photography-Love-Picture-001

Hello Sweet Twenty-16!

After the final calendar sheet shifted to another year, and after allowing myself to wonder and wander in my personal moments for fifteen days, here are three things for you and me this 2016!

Be complete with the past. I guess nothing’s harder than moving on emotionally in any aspect of life. We are emo-wired beings and we’ve all been into situation where it did make or break us. Twenty-fifteen could be at the same time a making and breaking year for most of us. Breaking because we have lost some important people in our life, we have surrendered friendships and relationships we treasure, unfulfilled dreams, events we have never thought of meeting on our 2015 road which have made us believed that we are incapable, weak, failure and underserved people. And so much more things that have inked deep marks in our hearts.. Making because we chose not to give up despite our vulnerable and broken hearts.. We’re still standing.

Whichever way the past year has dealt us, it’s important to be complete with it.. Surrender the pains & gains, the bitterness & sweetness and see them as significant part in our journey towards a more glorious season.  Forgive ourselves for the things undone. Be thankful and move forward. Let us not allow the past behind us make us miss what lies before us. There is more for us this year which we can’t afford to miss! But first, be complete with the past.

Choose to embrace and own each moment. Could it be more amazing if instead of just passively allowing each single day of this year to pass, we intentionally opt to actively embrace and own the entirety of it?  Because each moment is an invitation for us to choose to make the best out of it.. To embrace the people in our lives, the relationships God has entrusted us. To own the dreams God has put into our hearts, those aspirations and desires we have almost forgotten, and turn them into reality. To embrace ourselves, owning our strengths and weaknesses and always strive to be the best! – the best dad or mom, the best son or daughter, the best friend, best listener, best disciple and the list goes on.. Might as well to embrace and celebrate the coming and going of each season – the silence of winter, bliss of summer, freshness of spring and enchantment of fall. After all, each passing number on the 2016 calendar won’t happen again.. Now tell me, could there be a better choice than really owning and embracing our fleeting moments?

And as we master it, I believe, living life to the fullest is our reward!

12466175_10203918168794270_3367029252979068279_oTrust the Author of your year. One of the thrilling realities of life is that it’s full of uncertainties, and as we mature we realize we do not love these uncertainties at all. Perhaps even our new year is packed with scores of uncertainties already! Unsure if we can cross out everything on our 2016 checklist. Fear of losing job or not finding the best job we’ve been praying for. Fear of being not-in-a-relationship and it’s 2016 already. Fear of coming out from our zones of comfort. Fear of failure and rejection. (Insert more fear and doubts you have)…

Yet, behind all these uncertainties we hold is an omniscient Author who is so much certain about each specific detail of our 2016. An Author who does not only write our story, but IS IN our story. He is in our January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November and December!

Listen. The Author is with you. Trust Him.

Cheers to a sweet 2016!

Naregget A Panagserbi

Naawisak nga makipagsao iti maysa a local church iti distritomi iti umuna a Domingo daytoy a bulan – Domingo dagiti agtutubo ken dagita pamilya. Nagpasya ni nanang ko a ni tatang ko ti agbalin nga personal a drayberko (iti motor :D) tapno makaawidak met laeng a nabiit iti pagtaenganmi. Nakuyem ti panawen ken agar-arimokamok – rason tapno itugot ni tatang ko ti kulay kahel a kapotena kasta met ti payong nga isu inyawat ni nanangko kanyak.
Dua pulo a minutos pay lang ti tinaray ti motormi ket imbayakabaknan ti tudo. Insardeng ngarud ni tatangko ti motor iti maysa a linong tapno ikawesna ti kapotena. Gapu ta mariknak a kayatnak a damagen no agkamang kami pay lang iti linong agingga kumapsot ti tudo, inunaakon isuna ket kinunak, “mapantan pa, nabayag nga agsardeng daytoy a tudo”. Ket bayat ti panagdalyasatmi, lallalo met nga pumigpigsa iti tudo. Damagen ni tatang ko no saanak a mabasa ket nalagipko idi kadwa ni Hesus dagiti adalanna iti taaw kabayatan ti bagyo. Ngarud kinunak ken tatangko, “medyo mabasaak ngem sige latta, tudo laeng daytoy, awan ti dalluyon.” 🙂
Iti napalabas nga aldaw, nabasak iti maysa a blog nga insurat ni Ben Serpell maipanggep iti panangarakoptayo iti naduma-duma a panawen ti panagbiagtayo. Ket kunkunak iti bagik, “daytoy nga aldaw ket saanton a mauliten isu nga i-enjoyko ti agdama – riknaek ti angin a nalammiis, ti tudo ken ti panagsaksakayko iti motor ni tatangko.” Diak naigawid ti panunot ken pusok nga agsukimat ti banbanag ket nalagipko nga ti topiko nga insaganak para iti sermonko iti dayta nga aldaw ket pinaulwak “Naregget A Panagserbi”. Umis-isemak ta ammok a kayat nga iparikna ken ipaawat kanyak ni Apo ti naan-anay a panagserbi a sireregget ken tapno agbalin a realidad kanyak iti innak i-sermon..
Nalagip ko dagiti am-ammok a papastor, mimisyonero ken trabahadores ti Apo nga agmot-motor. Kasano ngata no mapanda kadagiti services ken outreaches ket masabatda iti napigsa a tudo wenno bagyo? Kasano ngata no adda sagubanit iti salun-atda (a kas kanyak itay)? Maibagak a narigat gapu ta napadasak.. ket itag-ayko isuda gapu ta iti likudan kadagitoy a tudtudo, bagbagyo ken sagsagubanit ket adda latta kadakuada ti regget ti panagserbi – ladawan a nasken a makita ken matulad dagiti agtutubo.
Uppat a pulo a minutosen ti tinaraymi ket insardeng ni tatangko ti motor iti sirok ti Damortis ti igid ti dalan tapno inspeksyonenna ti dalig ti motor. Kabayatan ti panagkitkitana ti dalig, ginundawayak met ti nangala ti ladawan ti aglawlaw. Nagpintas! Ket kalpasan ti tallo a minutos, nagluganen ni tatangko ta mapankami manen, ngem naklaatak ti nakitak iti kapotena: agkakarayam nga babassit nga igges a kulay berde! Saanko a mabilang ti kinaaduda. Apaman a nakitak, minaysa-maysak nga inikkat ida nga kasla awan ti bubutengak ken aaryekak kadagiti igges..
Maiyarigko manen dagiti igges a kas kadagiti suot iti panagserbitayo ken Apo. Iti dalan nga agturong Kenkuana, no adda gayam regget ti panagserbi awan gayam iti buteng iti anyaman a suot a sumangbay. Ket adda talgedko nga uray man pay makakitaakto manen ti igges inton maminsan, awanen ti anyaman a buteng gapu ta dakdakkelak, napigpigsaak ken napinpintasak ngem kadagiti igges. LOL. 😀
Kalpasan ti maysa nga oras, nadanonmi kenni tatangko ti kapilya nga rantami.
Awanen ti tudo.. Adda ragsak ken rag-o..
P.S.
Ti pusok agtarigagay iti lugan para iti nalawlawa nga ministeryo, ngem iti agdama, pagyamanak pay laeng ti motor ni tatangko. ^_^
12295240_10203777951568927_4970551349663174891_n

Enter a caption

siyak, ti motor ken ti drayberko. 😀

Just Do It

Let’s talk about Goals for the whole year round. This may look a kind of late publish but it’s still half plus 3 days of the month. So yeah, I wanna put my goals into words and allow them to come alive until the 365th day of the year. But before diving into it, let me say that 2015, for me personally, is a year of just doing and receiving. 1 Chronicles 17:2 says “Whatever you have in mind, do it, for God is with you.” Believing that I CAN DO things with His enabling power fuels my mind to purge all the limitations and barriers I could ever think of and just allow myself of doing the things I am called and wanted to do. When we act or do something, there’ll be always a result and that is the receiving part. So as I do things, I am also receiving the blessings He has in store for me.

Now, we’re good to go!

  1. Finish my Thesis/Journals –  Almost there. I just need a bit more effort and patience. I’ll celebrate on February! 🙂
  2. Attend The Landmark Forum – Since my scheduled forum last December didn’t materialize, I shall make it this Feb. I am excited how this development programme would impact my life this year and beyond. Who doesn’t want an extraordinary life?
  3. Complete my “Inspire 365 Project” – So far so great! I’m now on the 18th person and glad to receive feedbacks from the people I chose to bless with a piece of encouragement online. Blessing one person a day keeps negativities away. 😉
  4. Convocation – It’s been a long wait now. I wanna hold my scroll last quarter of this year! Plus mom and dad’s passport have been waiting for stamps! Thanks Daddy God in advance!
  5. Get a work I love – People-oriented, with an awesome boss I can befriend and healthy environment.
  6. More time with Papa and Mama – I’ve been away from home since High School, I need to spend quality time with my parents. More dates and soaking time with them!
  7. Reconnect with brother – Season to defy barriers in relationships. More and more relational communication.
  8. Feed the poor/homeless on my 26th birthday – This I’m excited! Looking forward for provisions.
  9. Get “Rich time” every week – Because I wanna educate myself on financial stewardship – Read books on financial literacy, converse to people who could be an inspiration on this area, surf materials online, attend workshops, repeat!
  10. Level up my musical skills – buy ukulele & compose 12 songs! I am alive!
  11. Join Marathon – Weekly exercise as preparation for the win. Make 2015 a healthy-sporty year.
  12. 12 souls to bring in the Kingdom – Yeah, I am challenging myself. After all, we’re accountable to the Great Commission. I want to make a contribution, right? 🙂
  13. Form a life group – I miss having sons and daughters and just pouring out to them. Learning from them, too, is priceless!
  14. Go for travels – With the family and friends. Both in Pinas and Southeast Asia at least. 🙂
  15. Financial build-up – Open bank account, start saving and perhaps engaging into stock investments. I am serious about this. 🙂
  16. Get personal/parents insurance – Finally! This year. This year!
  17. Family General check-up – Coz ever since, this is what I wanted for the family. Health first.
  18. Discover new things about myself – It’s clear. 🙂
  19. Donate blood – Why not? My first in 25 years.
  20. More volunteering opportunities – I’m powered to empower more this year. Anything under the sun, I’m in.
  21. Expand my network – We were called to influence. Connect to people and leave them some inspiration.
  22. Master relationships – Be it on family, friendship or whatever.. oh love!

Cheers!

You might want to listen to my song composition for this year’s “Just Do It” theme (https://soundcloud.com/xiousy/just-do-it-original). Enjoy!Pictures59

The Father’s Blessing

(Written February 16, 2013)

In just a couple of days, semester will again start. And I was asking God how I could make a greater difference in my university this time. I’ve seen His greatness and amazing breakthroughs the previous sem but I really want more and I will surely press in for more ‘coz there is still MORE. I was so really excited about the “hows” of my semester. I was asking for His clear instructions, but God didn’t give me what I wanted. Instead, He has brought me into a friend’s note, and this is…

The Father’s Blessing

By Paul Yadao

My precious son, My adorable daughter. You are My beloved child. I am so pleased with you for you are Mine and I am yours. You are My masterpiece. You are my priceless treasure. My love for you is pure, unchanging and eternal. I love you not for what you can do for Me, I love you because of who you are- You are My child and you are Mine.

I have known you even before time began. I have chosen you before creation. I know every inch of you for I have formed you in your mother’s womb. I delight in you. I celebrate you. I like everything about you. You are never an accident. You are not a mistake. You are My dream fulfilled. I am acquainted in all of yours ways for I am always with you and I will always be for you. I know when you rise up and when you lie down. I know your deepest thoughts, longings and desires for I surround you with My Presence and My love every moment of your life. Whenever I gaze at your face My heart rises with joy and adoration. Oh, you are so beautiful, you are so lovely for you are My child and you are Mine.

I have great dreams for you more than you can ever ask or imagine. I know My plans for you and I am committed to see all of them come to pass. I have created you for victory, for greatness and for My glory. I have prepared everything for you to succeed. My greatest joy is to see you shine with My goodness and My glory. I am inviting you to dream My dreams for you. Come My child, together let us transform this world with My Love flowing in and through you.

In Jesus Christ My Begotten Son, you are Royalty. I see the prince in you. I see the princess in you. You have My DNA. I am your Father-King. You have full access to My Kingdom. I have made you co-heirs with My Son. Everything that is Mine is His and all that is His is yours. I have placed in you the Spirit of My Son that in Him you may cry out ‘Abba, Father!’ And I will always hear you and be with you. I will never leave you nor forsake. For I am your Father and you are My beloved child.

Just as I have bestowed on Jesus the Father’s Blessing when He was being baptized, I now declare over you before the heavenly hosts and before all of My creation, “You are My beloved son, you are My beloved daughter. I love you and I am well pleased with you”. You are Mine and I am forever yours. In My blessing is My Favor, My Affirmation, My Love, My Provision, My Approval, My Protection, and My Grace for you to be what I have called you to be and to do. As I sent Jesus to this world with My full blessing and support, I now commission you to live in fullness, in abundance, and in My extravagant Love. I release you to be a blessing to all, to serve with passion, to love without condition and to transform this world with My glory.


I just came to realize that I was so busy about the “hows” of my sem and forgetting about the“who am I” thingy.  God loves me so much indeed that He doesn’t want me to be burn-out. Sometimes or most of the time, we have this tendency of being so passionate in doing things and agenda. We are so eager to start our specific assignments, works and ministries but we forget one precious thing – our very identity in Him. That’s why at the end of the day we end up empty, unsatisfied, disgusted..

Well, as for me, after coming across this note, I realized that my sem has already been finished! Why? because of my Father’s Blessing! the “hows” will just surely follow. 😉Cycling-Sunrise-Art

When you feel like Giving Up

(Written October 24, 2013)

Life is always something. As pastor Rick Warren says, seasons in life come in different features. Sometimes it’s sunny, sometimes it’s cloudy and sometimes it’s even stormy.  Well, sunny seasons make us feel great! Everything we see is all beautiful. We feel happy. We take joy both in small and big things. We laugh loud. We dance gracefully even if dancing isn’t our forte. We sing as if we are the only creature in this world. There is freedom! You’ve experienced all these, for sure.

But what if cloudy or stormy seasons come? Sounds familiar?

I’m pretty sure we’re no exception into life’s challenges. We’re human beings and while we are the only rational animals ever existing, we are and will never be exempted to these “cloudy or stormy seasons”.  Not even I..

I’ve been to a variety of seasons in life like you. I’ve tasted the sweetness of sunny seasons where happiness doesn’t seem to end. I’ve travailed the long dry seasons where God seems so far away from me. Been stuck on seasons of silence where God teaches me to just listen and learn. He has also caught me up into seasons of love, service, friendship, sonship and more… But there’s this tough season as well which I’m learning new things from.1059

Stormy Season 101.

Yes. I’m into it. This is the season where “Why and What if” questions pile up in mind. Just a perfect season to realize my own weaknesses, limitations & flaws. Moments when I will just feel all alone inside my room even if I’m aware that God is there. Moments when I feel weak coz He keeps on stretching my heart for the ministry to the point that I feel like being deprived of my personal time – that instead of writing for my thesis or reading journal articles or resting my sick body maybe, He will just call me for an assignment.. Moments when I feel like complaining because I think I’m already empty inside and couldn’t give out more. That I’ve already reached my saturation point. And the worst… That I feel like giving up.

But this season exposes me to invaluable realizations. First, I’m learning that I’m not a Superwoman. There are as much things I can do as things I cannot do. As humans, we have limitations and weaknesses which make us in total surrender to a greater God. Second, I’m learning that to live by faith involves pain. Sometimes God takes away our good feelings in exchanged of not-so-good feelings for us to learn. And that faith doesn’t spare us from pain. It’s all part of the process. Lastly, I’m learning to keep my eyes on the invisible. We must focus on Jesus and not to our circumstance, be it a cloudy or a stormy season.

So. When we feel like giving up, just think that another season is coming where happiness doesn’t seem to end. Again!